My Journey Into A Conscious Orgasmic Birth
When I became pregnant with my first child, I naively assumed birth was something that just...happened. As my belly grew, I figured I'd simply show up at the hospital when labor began and let the doctors take charge. So, in the middle of the night , on a cold winter’s night, that’s what I did. But my dream of a natural birth was shattered. The bright lights, sterile environment, and push for medical interventions left me feeling powerless. I ended up with a traumatic birth experience and a lot of guilt for not being able to have a natural birth. I felt less than and a failure for not being able to do it.
Afterward, I knew there must be a better way. I began voraciously researching pregnancy and childbirth, desperate to understand what had happened. That's when I discovered the world of conscious birthing. Rather than viewing labor as an ordeal to endure, conscious birth embraces pregnancy and childbirth as an empowering rite of passage. I learned how to heal my trauma from the first birth and techniques to manage labor's intensity through movement, vocalization, and visualization. I took prenatal yoga classes from a DVD at that time, read books on natural childbirth, and watched videos of women having calm, empowered births. This knowledge was enlightening and empowering.
When I became pregnant again, I felt ready to have a new experience. On my journey to a conscious birth I came across the book Orgasmic Birth, Your Guide Into a Safe, Satisfying, and Pleasurable Birth Experience by Elizabeth Davis and Debra Pascali-Bonari. I knew as soon as I saw the title that is the birth I desired to have. This time I felt ready to travel on this journey. I had packed my suitcase full of tools that I could take out during my labor one by one to help me have the birth I desired to have from the bottom of my heart.
I hired a doula for physical and emotional support since I knew I would want a powerful woman by my side this time around. We met at the park with our kids before the birth to establish rapport and trust and I knew as soon as I met her she was the one I felt comfortable with. She gave me tips for coping with the intensity of labor, we talked about essential oils and using sound during birth as a pain management tool. I was determined to have a more positive experience, even though it wasn’t a home birth. I was determined to have an orgasmic birth in a hospital room. The book Natural Hospital Birth, The Best of Both Worlds by Cynthia Gabriel gave me the confidence that it will be definitely possible regardless of the unexpected circumstances that will arrive with certainty. As my due date approached, I transformed my living room into a soothing birthing oasis where I would diligently open safe ritual space for my daily practice that would be constantly interrupted by a spirited 3 year old. This prepared me for the big day. I felt ready mentally, spiritually and physically.
This time, everything was different. My water broke at 41 weeks without any contractions around 9 pm as I was laying in bed watching my little one playing on the floor with her blocks. I knew I had enough time to get everything settled before heading out to the hospital. I finished making the cream of cheddar and broccoli soup for when I come back. My partner took the little one to her grandma, while I showered. I opened my ritual space, brought out the yoga ball in the living room and just bounced for what it felt like eternity. I labored at home as long as I could. Around 3 am my contractions were irregular but decided to head out for the hospital. I checked in and walked the corridors for a while. The hospital room this time felt like a safe space filled with my carefully chosen birthing support team. When those hard surges came, I felt safe and I drew on my practice. I moaned through each surge, channeling the primal power awakening within. The hours blurred by in a haze of breath, rhythm, ritual divinely guided by my midwife and doula. Under the shower, mother’s nature epidural, I felt the passage through the ring of fire as walking through the gates of ultimate sensation. I could barely hear my midwife ask me to lower my shoulders and my body would immediately surrender to her commanding voice. As I walked out the shower an intense sensation flooded my body and I screamed my daughter out with one contraction. The most exquisite sensations of exhilaration and pleasure flooded my body taking me to a height I have never been ever before. I felt paralyzed with these intense sensations in my body. Once my beloved midwife passed her into my waiting hands, tears of wonder streamed down my cheeks. Her pink skin and vernix-coated head were the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. I felt a satisfaction that seemed out of this world. I felt empowered. I felt happiness and joy like never before. In those moments, I understood what it meant to be reborn. Labor had stripped me down and pushed me to my absolute limits, forcing me to surrender to something greater.
While every birth is unique, mine taught me just how strong we mothers can be. When surrounded by support and our suitcase is full of ancient knowledge, we can shed our fears and access our inner wisdom. We can take back the consciousness of birth and release all the fears that come with it.
Most importantly, this transformative experience inspired me to find my life's purpose - empowering women to take back their power and have the birth they dream of. My journey led me to become a doula and childbirth educator. I now support and guide other women through pregnancy, labor, and the postpartum period. Seeing their transformations renews my spirit and conviction.
My birth story guided me to share my experiences and resources for an empowered, introspective journey into motherhood. By learning to let go and lean in, we can be transformed alongside our children. The path is not always easy, but the rewards are infinite. I feel privileged to assist other women on their journey and watch them reclaim their inner power. If I can help even one woman have an ecstatic birth, then my own journey will have been worthwhile.
